The Art of Relationships

While this blog is mostly about the Arts, I want to share with you my experience today, which is a demonstration and a reminder of the critical importance of connection and the ART of Relationships.


Today I had a medical procedure at Griffith Base Hospital, my first time as a patient in hospital since i was about 5 years old and getting my tonsils out.  GBH was a different hospital then, the avenue of Date Palms, dimly lit hallways, iron framed hospital beds and parents who couldn't stay.  But they did have Red Jelly and Ice Cream.

Hospitals for me have been places to visit people when they have babies, are not well and more recently to spend time with those at the end of life and be there to do them the honour of staying with them for that last stage. Its a tough gig, critical in fact.  In our family this Rite of Passage and Farewell underpins who we are and how we are connected.   Anyway I have only ever been a visitor. today it was different.

The Colonoscopy - two days or prep, and that final day waiting for the almighty expulsion of everything in the bowel system.  Once that "urge to purge" hits it's literally seconds before it's coming out.  Thank god I had no door to door salesmen selling solar panels or the extolling the virtues of their religion, it would have been an unpleasant experience, because it was easier not to wear anything that could hinder the expulsion process  - not even undies.  

Now the people around me have been amused by my apprehension at the procedure and hospitals.  If you are a parent, hospitals become familiar, but for some of us who have rare heart issues, they are quite daunting, especially if it involves a procedure like a colonoscopy (You're going to stick that up my Bum!!!)

So my good friend Suzy picked my up at 6:50am for the start of the day.  We arrived, obviously little earlier than I was supposed to - I think I heard the "7" not the "7:30" when I had phoned the previous day to check on what time I was expected and where did I go.  Note to Hospital, this info should be on the Booking notification form, don't assume we know where to go and what to do.  

Filled out the admissions forms - well signed on who was paying for which bit.  They still took my MBF card even though it is obsolete.  Then it was follow the yellow line to Day Surgery.  Suzy accompanied my all the way and tried her best to allay my fears  and apprehension.   Bev dropped in and said hello and then whisked me off to the business side of the unit.  Along the way she greeted staff and familiar faces, lighting each person up on a such a dreary day.  When I'm nervous my jokes get worse or fall flat because they are to obtuse. 

Jacket off, blood pressure, temperature, then 50 questions, yes Grevillea "Robin Gordon" is the only thing I will have a reaction too.  Tick tick tick. Note to Hospital Admin, all this paper and the data gets transferred onto computers, I understand some of the protocols around identification, but the repetition of the same questions at each stage and its on paper is ludicrous.  Save money, go digital.  Give the nurses time to do their work, not fill in more paper just to protect those higher up.  (also ditch the posters and notice boards, research has already found this is one of the least effective ways of engaging your audience, especially when they Board is full)

Then its time to gown up, ties at the back and you can't quite reach them, so you know your bum is on view for everyone. A few minutes to wait before Paul arrives with the cart to take you to theatre.  Its weird, it was surreal for me, because its been the anticipation of the "Colonoscopy Wave" to arrive, my first medical procedure as adult in his late 50's. Now with the gurney waiting and me about to lay on it, the apprehension is high. Bev and Paul sense this and provide the right amount of humour and support to settle. 

Paul drives a mean cart, at first my view was of the ceiling, Ceiling fittings, lights.  I thought for a moment where is my Compact Cinema Camera or the Gopro because this was useful footage. As the cart was manoeuvred through the ward, people smiled.  I closed my eyes, because it was overwhelming.  The cart moved at speed through the hallways and connecting passages, I could hear doors opening and closing.  No time for talking, he could also sense that it wasn't the time for that, but as he brought me into the critical end of this journey he made sure you were okay.  More questions -what was your full name and date of birth, and your allergic to what!!! 

The business end is quick.  I was parked in the bay before theatre, the anaesthetist arrives, full of good humour and also calmness.   Surprised by my good luck to have this as my second venture as a patient.  He inserted the cannula into my hand.  Im not good with blood or pain.  He then told me the procedure and we were off.  

My apprehension level now was very high, I am always in control of what I do (though it may seem that I'm not) and at this moment, I was no longer in control, I was handing that control to people I didn't know.  I looked at each person, they smiled and were aware of how I felt and they reassured. I mentioned my last experience to the kind face beside me and we both had similar memories of the Base Hospital in the early 1960's.  Iron Beds, Date Palms up the driveway and big wards - plus red jelly and ice cream.  The oxygen mask was put on face, I could hear the heart monitor beeping, it seemed fast, so I practiced the calming methods we have been teaching children.  Mindfulness exercises, the beeps slowed.  Steve then said roll on your side, gave me a pillow to cuddle and .

I woke to the gentle questions of the recovery nurses. We were off to have a CAT scan, because they hadn't been able to get right the way through.  So this would give the specialist a virtual view of what was inside.  Paul was back, and we headed off to that small temporary building.  Again more questions - yep i got them right - name and date of birth.  We chatted also about their impending move to the new building adjacent to YourHealth, the building with the schizophrenic exterior  (from St Albans the building has been designed to blend into the church, and from the YourHealth Side - it reflects that more modern design. 

Off the cart and onto the CAT Scan bed, on my side and then air is pumped in to my colon.  Thats not a great feeling, and when I think of the possible fart at the end - well I hope its not in a public space. 

Finished and then a cart ride back to Day Surgery waiting room.  Dressed, cups of tea, and plate of sandwiches - food finally. Everyone concerned are you ok, and all recounting their own stories of procedures.  Finally a quick goodbye and also a thank you for the tremendous focus on patient care.  

Hospitals are busy places, filled with happiness, apprehension and sadness.  The staff, nurses and support staff more than any others (even doctors) spend a lot of time with patients, lots of stress and demands.  This vocation and profession.  What I witnessed, and was part of today, was amazing.  From start to finish, I felt safe, I felt that they had identified quickly how i was feeling and adjusted their responses and behaviours to help alleviate that apprehension.  

Any organisation can have a pretty building and whizz bang facilities, and our community is often distracted by the shiny new thing.  But what makes an organisation great is the relationship it builds with its clients.   Its about connections, how am I connected to you and what do I do to make this the best it can be.  Our Hospital is a bit run down, and is in need of major infrastructure funding - essential I would see.  But the resource that should be nurtured are the frontline staff.  They made my small and for many, common, procedure, achievable.  They cared.  That's a big thing.  Their focus the whole time I was there was each and every patient.  Thank you.

For me there is also another amazing part of this story.  The people, friends, around me.  They have been part of the journey as well.  They have read the social media posts, laughed along on my short cuts to successful "purging".  They have rang, messaged, called in and also delighted in regaling me with their own stories.  The Tuckers get a special mention, Suzy is my new PA and thinks of everything, Gary and her family are pretty lucky.  Jelly and even soft wipes to assist when the urge to purge takes hours off your life.  Picking me up at dark o'clock, sitting with me as we waited, and feeling all the apprehension from.  I'm a lucky bloke really because I have a small circle of friends who are like this, they step in and make a difference.  Keeping me on the planet rather than off. 

There is also one more thought. The Tuckers eldest grandson has recently come through a major health scare, he was only 4 years old at the time, and it was all very crazy and intense. As walked up and into the hospital today as an adult who should know how these places work, my level of apprehension was pretty high, because its not something I am familiar with.  How must a young child feel as they lie on the gurney and are whisked off to surgery.  I was scared as I lay in the operating theatre, I was handing my life to others to look after for the next hour or more.  Would I wake?  Young children can't even think at that level yet, its all invasive, painful and ongoing.  

Note to Hospital:  Especially to the frontline Nurses, Wards men and Doctors, you take the opportunity and time to make a difference. You connect and build relationships, even in those short minutes.  You build trust, reduce anxiety and for me, today, that was crucial.  It would be rare for someone to describe their experience at Hospital as amazing, but mine was, because you care, you take the time and you want to bring out the best qualities in people, staff  and patient alike.  Thank You.